True Story: The day randakatengeserwa phone yedhaga mutown

 True Story: The day randakatengeserwa phone yedhaga mutown

By Prince Gora

Last year, my writing took a real hit as I struggled to adjust to the pressures of post-college adult life but this year I have vowed to not only write new stuff but to also complete all the things I have been meaning to write about for the longest time but kept on postponing.

So today is the day I tell you about one of my many experiences neboys netonaz. It is also the day I publish my first piece written in Sho-nglish (a mixture of Shona, slang and English).

So back in 2015 I was fresh from high school and not even sure kuti ndoenda here kuVar because I knew that a mere 11 points (and to think that some are getting 50 points out here in 2023) wouldn`t get me a scholarship and paden mari papasina zvamuchose hapo.

So during that period I did anything and everything to get by. From being a dhakaboy, assistant carpenter, butcher boy and etcetera. I even once spent a week or so ndichichera majecha kuEpaton Park kwedu uku.

But the highlight of it all is the two months I spent while doing street vending in Harare CBD.

If you guys remember, back in 2015 Dr. Amai Stop It vakamboti regerai vanhu vatengese mustreet vawane raramo chii chii paya, right?

So this other uncle of mine took that opportunity ndobva vati mpfanha huya utengese maphone accessories tonaz tiite bag.

Ndikati haa bho mdra, let`s do this.

In an almost prophetic way, ndakabva ndawana poshto right at the mouth of my future workplace pana corner First Street and Jason Moyo apo at the then Barclays bank building (now First Capital).

Zvakambotanga zvakaoma but sevapfanha vepataundi takangohardira kusvika zvakutoita, maiziya?

Then this other Saturday, after a good sale bvandati ndimboendawo patelone wifi near Edgars 1^st Street/Jason Moyo Ave apo.

After browsing the internet for a few minutes, vamwe jah man vakangopindira vakabata Nokia N95 vachiti mupfana unemarii apa?

I don`t remember the model that I was using at the time but I know kuti yanga iri China last zvayo. I also didn`t have money (80% yemari yandandinayo yanga iri yebasa).

So ndakangomuti haa handina hangu mari blaz.

Zvikanzi ukuona chii mpfanha, dakutongokuitira favor semunhu arikuda mari saka kana swap and top bho futi. Phone iyi ndatoivhara munhu so dakutongoipfuudza as soon as possible.

That lured me in, bvandangoti ndine $10 chete mdra.

Zvikanzi haa ishoma mari yako iyi mpfanha, wedzera.

And I was like haa handina hangu mkoma and turned my back on him.

Then the guy turned to those, ‘desperate talking to self’ stunts zvekuti I could hear him achiti ndodiiko, mari ndikuida but haa mari yempfanha uyu ishoma bvadzazongoti horaiti ngatiite dhiri racho.

Bvandapihwa phone paya and I did the usual routine tests - checking the touch, camera, earphones, SIM and SD card, and network connectivity - all the usual stuff. They were all okay. Then I asked him, "How do I know that it's got no charging problems?"

"That's no big deal mafana, let's go to any shop that sells cellphone chargers, pretend that we want to buy a charger and they will test the charging for us."

Ndikati haa bho dhiri iri. I just couldn`t see anything going wrong from here so I kept my SIM and memory (SD) cards muN95 iyaiya.

Then trouble began.

Instead of leading me into a nearby shop as I expected, the guy took me to a puny store kuna Inez Terrace uko but for some reason I didn't think much of it then, ndakangoti haa bho.

The funny thing is that on the way there takatopfuura nepane imwe khule yangu so yanga yandi-mentor into vending ikatonditi mpfanha hausi kuvharwa here iwewe ndikati maya khule, I am in charge.

Tasvika in this other crowded shop pana Inez Terrace takangti tikudawo charger, it was tested tikaona haa iri kushanda.

Hepanoi pakunobhandara charger, jah man vakati, "mpfanha wati ukubhadhara charger", ndikati maya mdra mati ndimi mukubhadhara bvatatotanga kupikisana paya until the embarrassed shopkeeper snatched the charger from his hand. We left the shop with serious faces ndikabuda padoor ndichiti haa apa tahwinha apa.

Handina kumbowaster time ndikati blaz mukuona chii, batai phone ne mari yenyu yetop up iyi inini mondipawo N95 yangu tobudana.

Blaz vaya vakangoti, "Mpfanha chimbomira, muridzi wephone akutiteera uyo", he said the words pointing with his head to a guy who was approaching us, barely 10 metres away.

When the guy arrived akabva anzi, "Mpfanha uyu adakutoper $10 paphone iyi zvinobuda here?" He addressed his friend while showing him my phone.

Mface wake akangoti haa hazvibude izvi, panotoda minimum $25 apa.

And I was like, “Haa handina hangu that much money ngatiite reverse dhiri pachiri padhuze mukoma.”

The guy who had originally approached me got closer to me and whispered so that only I could hear him. The said owner of the phone didn't seem to care much while this went on.

"Mpfana, we can still do this deal, I can trick this guy, just follow me."

Sempfanha wepatonaz I followed him on the pavement towards Speke Avenue, turned two corners along the avenue then the guy suddenly turned to face me and told me in a whisper kuti tiite kadhiri kacho faster faster.

“Ndipe mari nephone, here is yours, hide it so that this guy won't see you with it.”

And once again, his friend seemed to not have noticed anything for he continued to walk mindlessly.

I knew that he wasn't going to count the money right away, so I handed him almost half of the amount we had agreed on and raced towards the corner thinking of myself as the cleverest person on the face of the earth and only stopped at the other side of the road.

It was then that I decided to check my pockets for the $30 that I had secured there...and what the hell?

The left pocket of my jeans was empty. I very much tried to stay calm and checked the right hand side pocket and the back pockets but haa mari can`t get.

I traced the few steps I had just walked hoping to have dropped the money somewhere but still haa there was no money. I just assumed that the money had been lost (I didn`t think of the obvious at that point).

All that was left off my rich pickings for the day was just five bucks that I had withheld from the phone deal. The new phone was at least the one thing left to put a smile on my face - or so I thought.

I dipped my hand in my right-hand pocket to take it - there was no doubt that the phone was inside the pocket, I mean I could feel it, it was there in the pocket.

And for sure it was there.

Trouble came when I tried to switch it on.

Kubaya switch kudai, phone ingaite on?

Ndikati maya, let me try again - a little bit harder this time, phone ikatiwo maya handibake inini. Then I tried even harder but still no signal came up.

Impatiently, I decided to check if the battery was rightly positioned and … boys ka, I almost sank to the ground, kunyura mutara pakati petaundi chaipo.

Apparently the gods had decided that I hadn't had enough misery already so they had punished me even further. The phone I had bought was a fake one; no mhani ndikutadza ku-explainer, there wasn't a phone at all, just the covers filled with mud inside.

On top of this, I had also lost my SIM and SD Cards.

After ndaona phone yemadhaga things began to make sense. The crowded shop was so that they could steal from me, the underhand handover thing at the corner was so that I couldn`t check the phone and they could just disappear into thin air.

I was broken, cracked, damaged, dejected, disjointed, destroyed, fragmented, horrified, ruined, shattered, smashed, wrecked and properly, properly humbled!

I didn`t know the phrase then but haa ipapo mbinga yakashaker zvekutodzokera kuzero uko kusvika pakungobata gotsi.

I know zvangu kuti Mwari haabve kumba kwedu but haa these 2 guys ka, whoever they are, Mwari ave navo.

You would think that I became cleverer after this incident but haa tonaz itonaz chero zvikadii. As recent as May/June 2021 ndakatengeserwa the wrong phone paCopacabana apa. Haa boys rachoka, ma1.