Rating Winky D's Eureka Eureka Album: You can love him or hate him BUT there`s one thing you can`t do and that is ignore him.

Winky D singing Ibotso at the HICC (January 1, 2023)

I typically don`t like to write these type of articles nor actively engage in the debates unless if it’s for banter purposes because I believe that in most cases and unless you are getting paid for it, opinions are generally useless and a waste of time. No matter how much you argue or state your case, for example, you can`t turn a Ronaldo fan into a Messi fan nor a Barcelona fan into a Real Madrid one or an opposition party activist into an establishment staunch supporter (without resorting to underhand tactics).

So if I am to be honest with all of you, I must admit that I only took my time to write this piece because my body is craving the keyboard of late. So let`s begin.

“When an artist's work ignites conversation, then the artist's work is done,” said some wiseman from the east, or the west or whatever; the fact of the matter is that Winky D’s Eureka Eureka album ignited conversation all over the country.

The process of making music is supposed to be easy. According to Alick Macheso, musicians are supposed to just sing and lay back while listeners choose whether or not they want to listen to the music.

Unfortunately, that doesn`t seem to be the case nor that simple.

Winky D's Secrecy and Political Connotations

Law 6 of the 48 laws of power talks about courting attention at all costs. It argues that it`s better to be hated than to be ignored. This is a tactic that the likes of Holy Ten seem to be trying to emulate. But should this always be the case?

A bit later on in the same book, on Law 16, Robert Green talks about, “Using Absence to Increase Respect and Honor.”

Are these laws contradictory? Well maybe but not really because Greene mentions that when you are already established, temporary withdrawal will make you more talked about, even more admired. Value is created through scarcity.

In my opinion, this is what Winky D has done with his career and life and it has made him a legend.

On a side note, however, I want credit our poorly resourced media for the supposed lack of information about him online. I am certain that if a dedicated journalist tracks his life for a few weeks, s/he will unearth multitudes but perhaps the resources for that are just not there.

Then there is controversy about his political connotations and the controversy surrounding that? I think that`s just pure drama. First of all, Winky D has never named a soul in all his social commentary and secondly, he has always been like that since the beginning of his career. He has never been afraid to point out issues affecting youth from prosperity, work, churches, drugs, sexual exploitation, gender-based violence, among others.

Eureka Eureka album

So thanks to Winky D`s Eureka Eureka album, January 2023’s first 10 days just flashed by as we all had something to look forward to and talk about.

Launch

It started from the launch, people may take it lightly but having a sold out show for a US$20-00 standard ticket in Zimbabwe is no easy fit even more so when the people don`t even know what they will be listening to.

And then the electric performance that we have gotten used to. It was epic at the HICC on the new year crossover.

Album rollout: marketing genius?

Eureka Eureka has done wonders to Winky D`s streaming numbers. In just 2 weeks, his YouTube account has risen from 172k subscribers to 216k subscribers, an increase of over 40k and the album has garnered over 5,6 million views already. The views have also been coming and it is likely that by month end, at least 2 songs from the album would have hit a million views on YouTube. There is no guarantee though because as we saw with Happy Again which hit one million views in 10 days and then failed to get another million in the year that followed, the views can just suddenly slow down at any minute.

There is another issue as well, Winky D’s popularity in the streets, on social media, and on stage as compared to his streaming numbers are a mismatch. His online game obviously needed to up and I think he is beginning to work on it. 

Now, let`s rate the songs from Eureka Eureka.

Songs rating and hits predictions.

Some people have said that they haven`t detected any hits from the album, well that`s their thinking, Zimbabwe is a free country. I have detected some though and list them here (in no particular order). Rating the songs though was way harder.

There is one thing that we all have to give to Winky D though and that is just how effortlessly he adjusted to each artist`s flow and genre throughout the album.

1. Nherera ft. Mwenje Mathole

From conversations with colleagues and from what I have seen on social media, this, right here is a contender for best song of the album. The flows, the beat, the vocals, the blend, the message; everything is just on point.

Rating: 10/10

Prediction: This will not likely become a chart topper or a song that everyone will vibe to this year. It will however most likely have the longest lifespan as it is in the same line with 25, Dzika Ngirozi and Hatiperekedzane. I would have liked a video for this one.

2. Gonyera ft. EXQ

Simple and catchy chorus with much deeper verses especially from Winky D, this is a collabo that Zimbabwe should have had long back from these two maestros. I can`t pick out anything wrong from this song to be honest.

Rating: 9/10

Prediction: I don`t know if this song will become a chart topper but it is a song that a lot of people will vibe to this year. In my opinion, it will be a hit of some sort.

3. Shaker ft. Enzo Ishall

This one surprises me a lot especially how people have received and embraced it. I mean, by the end of Winky D`s and Enzo Ishall`s performance of the song on December 31^st at the HICC, people had already took the chorus from them and made it their own. The lyrics, verses and chorus are simple and catchy which probably explains why people have quickly fallen in love with the song and are shaking anything that is shakable around them.

Rating: 8/10

Prediction: The song will likely blow up and be a club banger but I don`t see it as a song with a long lifespan.

4. XYZ ft. Qounfuzed

The feature was a surprise but the song wasn`t, people have known about the existence of the song for a while now. That probably explains why, on release, the song wasn`t hyped like Ibotso and others. But someone who has been watching the flow of the album with neutral eyes will tell you that this song is one of the best from the album and will most likely emerge as the most streamed at the end of the year.

Rating: 10/10

Prediction: Absolute hit. With half a million views already, XYZ will most likely hit a million views in a month or 2 on its way to being the most viewed song of #EurekaEureka and top 3 most viewed Zimbabwean song of 2023.

5. High Grades ft. Herman

The first song to be released from the album. It`s a decent song but I think it could have been better. Even with the advantage of being released first, the song has failed to live to the billing of lead single or song and its streaming numbers have already been trumped by songs like Ibotso, Dzimba Dzemambwe and XYZ.

Rating: 6/10

Prediction: The song has its market largely thanks to its naughty messaging of high grades. It will make rounds but I doubt that it will be a hit.

6. Dreams ft. Saintfloew

This is a great song that many are vibing to on social media and beyond. Winky D outdid himself here and one would be forgiven if, after listening to the song, thought that he is a hip-hop artist and not a dancehall one given his raps on the song. The beat is also great. Saintfloew though, seemed to have understood the assignment differently and chose to give us lyrics that we can hardly make sense of. That cost this song a 10.

Rating: 8/10

Prediction: Thanks largely to what Winky D himself did on the song, this song will have a long life much like 25 or Daddy.

7. Ibotso ft. Holy Ten

The song has been marred by a lot of controversy but the truth is that both artists featured on the song did their job well. Rumor has it that the song is not receiving airplay but that doesn`t matter, does it? I mean the song has been on number 1 trending  since its release and is already on 900k YouTube streams and will soon cross the one million mark. This, in my opinion, is success enough especially considering that the song available on YouTube is only an audio (and not video).

Rating: 10/10

Prediction: Whichever way you choose to look at this song, it`s touched people`s lives and attention and is thus a hit.

8. Tears ft. Anita Jaxson

Great pairing and a decent song that is obviously made for the international market. It remains to be seen just how well the song will be able to do its job.

Rating: 7/10

Prediction: I think this is an average song and I don`t see it as a major hit.

9. Dzimba dzemabwe ft. Shingai Shonhiwa

Winky D, Shingai, Jussa Di Mentor, Oskid and everyone who worked on the song understood the assignment and got everything perfectly. Dzimba dzemabwe, like ibotso will most likely not receive airplay but like in Ibotso’s case, it doesn`t seem like it needs it either. It`s already sitting on 800k YouTube views and with the gift of a video will surely end the year upwards of 1.5 million YouTube views.

Rating: 10/10

Prediction: The song is about ‘serious things’ and thus is for serious Zimbabweans, most of whom have embraced it well. It`s a hit, already.

10. Peter friend ft. Nutty O

Great pairing, great message and a really good song that is also made for the international market. Like tears, it remains to be seen just how well the song will be able to do its job.

Rating: 8/10

Prediction: This is a good song with a good message and the blessings of a video. I don`t see why it can`t make the rounds in the streets.

11. Kutonhodzwa kwaChauruka ft. Tocky Vibes

Since around 2015, Tocky Vibes seems to value longevity more than anything else in his songs and I think that that`s exactly what he did here. This is a song for the long run.

Rating: 8/10

Prediction: I don`t think this is an immediate hit but it will certainly have an impact over many, many years to come.

12. Muspirit ft. Dr. Chaii

A celebrated name the world over, Dr. Chaii is a fairly new name to the Zimbabwean music fraternity and was included in the Eureka project to bring much needed diversity. This is a good song, in my opinion.

Rating: 8/10

Prediction: The song will hit the airwaves but I doubt that it will make too much noise. This is an average to below average hit.

13. Vafarisi ft. Poptain, Bazooker

Is this really a new song, maybe but it sounds like we have all heard it before right? For me, this song sounds just like Gafa Party (Toi Toi) in many regards and I thus just regard it as part 2 of it as a result. It`s still a good song though but because it’s repetition, I won`t give it a 10.

Rating: 7/10

Prediction: Like Gafa Party (Toi Toi) before it, I think the song will be an average hit.

14. Urere ft. Killer T

The lyrics and the instrumentals tell the whole story. The song was made for the party animals and I would be surprised if they blue-tick it.

Rating: 10/10

Prediction: The song is and will be a club banger.

Overal Album Rating: 8.5/10

People will argue however they want but aside from Jah Prayzah, there is hardly any other artist who has garnered 5 716 000 YouTube streams from their albums and especially in such a short period of time and in the distribution we have seen from Eureka.

The album will most likely end the year with over 10 million YouTube streams and will surely rock the streets. It has been and will be a hit.

Winky D vs Jah Prayzah, Holy Ten, Seh Calaz

Winky D comparisons with artists like Holy Ten, Seh Calaz, Sniper Storm and so forth is petty and must not be entertained.

Only artists in the realm of Thomas Mapfumo, Alick Macheso, the late Oliver Mtukudzi, Leonard Dembo, John Chibadura, and for our generation, Jah Prayzah deserves such hour.

The truth is that Jah Prayzah is a great artist with just about everything you need from an artist; a great voice, great visuals, and great creativity.

His enemy has been his association or perceived association with the Zimbabwean ruling party and army. He has remained largely successful but his numbers and luster seems to have taken a knock.

Both artists have numerous hits but Jah Prayzah’s streaming numbers dwarf those of any of his peers and the only reason why Winky D`s name is mentioned alongside his is because Winky D’s stage performance and pro-people stance is second to none which has earned Winky D very loyal and dedicated fans like myself.

It`s also important to note that Winky D hasn`t really been as focused on the streams as much as you would think. Eureka Eureka, for example, is the first album with more than 1 musical video (aside from the 2 song medleys from back in the days). As a result, Winky D only has about 5 visuals in the last 5 years (excluding Eureka). Also, up until Gafa Life: Kick step,  he only uploaded video songs on his YouTube channel. And as we speak, hits like Paita Party, Mumba Mababa, my all time favourite - Life Yangu, and many other hits, are not available on his YouTube channel.

I hope that Winky D and his team will take the time to upload all these old songs on YouTube and other platforms. Yesteryear artists from across the world have done so.

True Story: The day randakatengeserwa phone yedhaga mutown

 True Story: The day randakatengeserwa phone yedhaga mutown

By Prince Gora

Last year, my writing took a real hit as I struggled to adjust to the pressures of post-college adult life but this year I have vowed to not only write new stuff but to also complete all the things I have been meaning to write about for the longest time but kept on postponing.

So today is the day I tell you about one of my many experiences neboys netonaz. It is also the day I publish my first piece written in Sho-nglish (a mixture of Shona, slang and English).

So back in 2015 I was fresh from high school and not even sure kuti ndoenda here kuVar because I knew that a mere 11 points (and to think that some are getting 50 points out here in 2023) wouldn`t get me a scholarship and paden mari papasina zvamuchose hapo.

So during that period I did anything and everything to get by. From being a dhakaboy, assistant carpenter, butcher boy and etcetera. I even once spent a week or so ndichichera majecha kuEpaton Park kwedu uku.

But the highlight of it all is the two months I spent while doing street vending in Harare CBD.

If you guys remember, back in 2015 Dr. Amai Stop It vakamboti regerai vanhu vatengese mustreet vawane raramo chii chii paya, right?

So this other uncle of mine took that opportunity ndobva vati mpfanha huya utengese maphone accessories tonaz tiite bag.

Ndikati haa bho mdra, let`s do this.

In an almost prophetic way, ndakabva ndawana poshto right at the mouth of my future workplace pana corner First Street and Jason Moyo apo at the then Barclays bank building (now First Capital).

Zvakambotanga zvakaoma but sevapfanha vepataundi takangohardira kusvika zvakutoita, maiziya?

Then this other Saturday, after a good sale bvandati ndimboendawo patelone wifi near Edgars 1^st Street/Jason Moyo Ave apo.

After browsing the internet for a few minutes, vamwe jah man vakangopindira vakabata Nokia N95 vachiti mupfana unemarii apa?

I don`t remember the model that I was using at the time but I know kuti yanga iri China last zvayo. I also didn`t have money (80% yemari yandandinayo yanga iri yebasa).

So ndakangomuti haa handina hangu mari blaz.

Zvikanzi ukuona chii mpfanha, dakutongokuitira favor semunhu arikuda mari saka kana swap and top bho futi. Phone iyi ndatoivhara munhu so dakutongoipfuudza as soon as possible.

That lured me in, bvandangoti ndine $10 chete mdra.

Zvikanzi haa ishoma mari yako iyi mpfanha, wedzera.

And I was like haa handina hangu mkoma and turned my back on him.

Then the guy turned to those, ‘desperate talking to self’ stunts zvekuti I could hear him achiti ndodiiko, mari ndikuida but haa mari yempfanha uyu ishoma bvadzazongoti horaiti ngatiite dhiri racho.

Bvandapihwa phone paya and I did the usual routine tests - checking the touch, camera, earphones, SIM and SD card, and network connectivity - all the usual stuff. They were all okay. Then I asked him, "How do I know that it's got no charging problems?"

"That's no big deal mafana, let's go to any shop that sells cellphone chargers, pretend that we want to buy a charger and they will test the charging for us."

Ndikati haa bho dhiri iri. I just couldn`t see anything going wrong from here so I kept my SIM and memory (SD) cards muN95 iyaiya.

Then trouble began.

Instead of leading me into a nearby shop as I expected, the guy took me to a puny store kuna Inez Terrace uko but for some reason I didn't think much of it then, ndakangoti haa bho.

The funny thing is that on the way there takatopfuura nepane imwe khule yangu so yanga yandi-mentor into vending ikatonditi mpfanha hausi kuvharwa here iwewe ndikati maya khule, I am in charge.

Tasvika in this other crowded shop pana Inez Terrace takangti tikudawo charger, it was tested tikaona haa iri kushanda.

Hepanoi pakunobhandara charger, jah man vakati, "mpfanha wati ukubhadhara charger", ndikati maya mdra mati ndimi mukubhadhara bvatatotanga kupikisana paya until the embarrassed shopkeeper snatched the charger from his hand. We left the shop with serious faces ndikabuda padoor ndichiti haa apa tahwinha apa.

Handina kumbowaster time ndikati blaz mukuona chii, batai phone ne mari yenyu yetop up iyi inini mondipawo N95 yangu tobudana.

Blaz vaya vakangoti, "Mpfanha chimbomira, muridzi wephone akutiteera uyo", he said the words pointing with his head to a guy who was approaching us, barely 10 metres away.

When the guy arrived akabva anzi, "Mpfanha uyu adakutoper $10 paphone iyi zvinobuda here?" He addressed his friend while showing him my phone.

Mface wake akangoti haa hazvibude izvi, panotoda minimum $25 apa.

And I was like, “Haa handina hangu that much money ngatiite reverse dhiri pachiri padhuze mukoma.”

The guy who had originally approached me got closer to me and whispered so that only I could hear him. The said owner of the phone didn't seem to care much while this went on.

"Mpfana, we can still do this deal, I can trick this guy, just follow me."

Sempfanha wepatonaz I followed him on the pavement towards Speke Avenue, turned two corners along the avenue then the guy suddenly turned to face me and told me in a whisper kuti tiite kadhiri kacho faster faster.

“Ndipe mari nephone, here is yours, hide it so that this guy won't see you with it.”

And once again, his friend seemed to not have noticed anything for he continued to walk mindlessly.

I knew that he wasn't going to count the money right away, so I handed him almost half of the amount we had agreed on and raced towards the corner thinking of myself as the cleverest person on the face of the earth and only stopped at the other side of the road.

It was then that I decided to check my pockets for the $30 that I had secured there...and what the hell?

The left pocket of my jeans was empty. I very much tried to stay calm and checked the right hand side pocket and the back pockets but haa mari can`t get.

I traced the few steps I had just walked hoping to have dropped the money somewhere but still haa there was no money. I just assumed that the money had been lost (I didn`t think of the obvious at that point).

All that was left off my rich pickings for the day was just five bucks that I had withheld from the phone deal. The new phone was at least the one thing left to put a smile on my face - or so I thought.

I dipped my hand in my right-hand pocket to take it - there was no doubt that the phone was inside the pocket, I mean I could feel it, it was there in the pocket.

And for sure it was there.

Trouble came when I tried to switch it on.

Kubaya switch kudai, phone ingaite on?

Ndikati maya, let me try again - a little bit harder this time, phone ikatiwo maya handibake inini. Then I tried even harder but still no signal came up.

Impatiently, I decided to check if the battery was rightly positioned and … boys ka, I almost sank to the ground, kunyura mutara pakati petaundi chaipo.

Apparently the gods had decided that I hadn't had enough misery already so they had punished me even further. The phone I had bought was a fake one; no mhani ndikutadza ku-explainer, there wasn't a phone at all, just the covers filled with mud inside.

On top of this, I had also lost my SIM and SD Cards.

After ndaona phone yemadhaga things began to make sense. The crowded shop was so that they could steal from me, the underhand handover thing at the corner was so that I couldn`t check the phone and they could just disappear into thin air.

I was broken, cracked, damaged, dejected, disjointed, destroyed, fragmented, horrified, ruined, shattered, smashed, wrecked and properly, properly humbled!

I didn`t know the phrase then but haa ipapo mbinga yakashaker zvekutodzokera kuzero uko kusvika pakungobata gotsi.

I know zvangu kuti Mwari haabve kumba kwedu but haa these 2 guys ka, whoever they are, Mwari ave navo.

You would think that I became cleverer after this incident but haa tonaz itonaz chero zvikadii. As recent as May/June 2021 ndakatengeserwa the wrong phone paCopacabana apa. Haa boys rachoka, ma1.