Failing is not easy.

By Prince Gora

How do I begin? Well, perhaps I should start with a confession.

I wrote the first draft of this piece a few months ago and told myself that I wouldn`t publish it unless I had passed my then upcoming exam (the one I once wrote about in a blog piece titled “Hustling your way to graduation: The ups and downs”). I wanted to capture my emotions and feelings at that point in time but also didn`t want to publicize a potential failure.

See https://www.universityworldnews.com/post.php?story=2022041110532683

In the lead up to this exam, I was extremely anxious almost every day and had to take a one week sabbatical just before the exam.

One evening, some six days before the exam, while on a call with my girlfriend (yeah, she exists), I confided in her that I was afraid of this exam more than I had ever been afraid of any other in my life and couldn’t understand why. I used to study and go on to pass up to 10 modules in two weeks or so but suddenly, I found six days to be a pretty short time for me to grasp everything despite the fact that this time I was exclusively studying for 1 module; just 1. That is the day I drafted this piece.

“Don`t worry hun, you will be alright. You are simply afraid because this was the first time that you failed like this.”

Her response got me thinking. It suddenly dawned on me that my academic success (though relatively modest) was based on simply getting things right the first time. Failing a subject in primary school is almost an impossible task and in high school I literally never went below the 50 percent mark and managed to get pass marks in all my 10 subjects at O’ level and 4 subjects at A’ Level (not all straight As though).

In college things quickly changed. After some coursework mark mishaps, I did fail a course at the end of my first year. It was heartbreaking but not catastrophic as I proceeded to the next level. I worked on the coursework and got it all done with in the second year albeit at the expense of two more courses.

Foolishly, I waited or should I say gambled to address these at the very death and I lived to regret it. I put in some hard work in what was supposed to be my final semester at university and nearly got away with it except for this one course which I had failed back in my second year.

For the first time in my academic life, I had worked hard for something and still walked away empty handed. When I opened the results portal, I was devastated and only kept going by listening exclusively to Winky D’s Njema, Gafa Futi and Gafa Life: Kicks tape albums.

I lived with my failure in the hope of getting things right on the third time. As the chance to redeem myself came close though, instead of hope, I was restless and in despair. The thought of failing on a third try was a tough pill to swallow. I cannot help but wonder what would have happened if I had failed. This would have destroyed me, in every way imaginable.

After failing, they tell you to get up and try again but hear it from me; it`s easier said than done. You know you have to believe in you but sometimes it just seems to be too high a price to pay.

The Mavericks FES Story - Class of 2019

Beginning with the application process itself, to the interviews and finally the modules, the film nights, the panel discussions, the tea break and lunch hour side talks, the debates and even the whatsapp conversations, the FES journey is a challenging, learning, fun and of cause a "maverick" experience!

Indeed, long before we knew each other's names or could agree on anything else, bound by what we were experiencing, we easily agreed on the name of the group.

The diverse group comprising of Miles Moyo (Kindly insert preferred description ), Choose Kasongo (), Prince Gora (), Namatai Kwekweza (), Tafadzwa Makara (), Kunashe Joseph Ndondo and Linda Masudze () was to be called the Mavericks!

Throughout the 3 blocks, all the modules were intriguing, eye opening, thought provocative and informative. As can be expected though, a few modules and moments literally took our breath away and we will mostly touch on these here.

During the first block there was the Priviledged walk, The Marikana documentary and the site visit to Acturus mine. From these activities we learnt to be humble and grateful, and came to the understanding that even though we have contributed significantly towards the position  where we find ourselves in right now, we can't ignore the other circumstances that existed in our past or still do today nor can we ignore the impact of privileges we have had or haven't had in our lives.
It taught us how to be radical and how to live to fight for another day.

The module on constitutionalism was also a special one together with its accompanying documentary, "The Democrats". It was interesting and mind blogging to find out how the constitution was written, what's hidden in it,how it compares to the yesteryear documents like the "ordinance in Council" and most importantly, it's strengths and weaknesses and how it is being manipulated or completely ignored inorder to peruse certain agendas.

Closely linked to constitutionalisn was the gallery walk. Walking down the memory lane and looking once more at the periods and events that changed the course of the country forever was special and touching. We realised how it was easy to disappear from history. We were particularly challenged by the lack of women at the most defining moments of our beloved motherland and as the Mavericks, we resolved to support and work together with the girl child so that they can make a greater contribution in building the country.
   
The interactions with politicians, panel discussions and debates were quite informative and educative. Looking at topics like the women's quota, the dialogue issue got us thinking deeply about equality and the future of Zimbabwe. 

Most inspirational of all was helping or working with fellow YLTP members to help the community and seeing classmates climb up the ladder of success. After just the first block,  the Sanitary Aid Zimbabwe founder, Theresa Farai Nyava (Sanitary Bae ) collaborated with Prince Gora to donate pads and teach high school girls about menstrual hygiene in his Epworth neighborhood. At the end of the second block, we donated money which was used to buy pads which were donated. All we can say is that there is joy in giving!

The FES exposure was maverick, we look forward to joining the alumni and to learning and going up the leadership ladder.

Maybe not all pictures are worthy a thousand words but this one is.

The powers that be may not be very happy that from a full day training workshop, my biggest take-home is not something that I learnt in the workshop but rather some memories from a little over a decade ago. 

 Really, I couldn`t help it. I mean, how would you react if from across the hall, 10 minutes into a training workshop, you heard the voice of a friend you haven`t met in years?

That`s the mammoth task I had to deal with yesterday morning and it made me feel like I was 10 years old all over again. I was just an average primary school pupil backin 2007 when perhaps the most significant event of my childhood occurred. 

The divorce of my parents was the first time that I decided to take the driving seat towards my destiny. But I couldn`t have done it all without this man here, Panashe Kandemwa. 

He was one of the best students in the class and my close association with him took me from the back end of the top ten to the front end of it in less than a year.

From 2007 to 2010 (the years that laid the foundation for whatever I am today), we were literally inseparable and did a lot together. We sat next to each other in class at Ringa Primary and Secondary schools, walked to and from school together, played “chikweshe” and football for the school soccer team together, herded cattle together, and did almost everything else together. 

We even had our first attempts (and limited success) at girls together. 

The only exception was perhaps on the closing days of the second and third school terms. We both wanted to be numero uno but one of us had to settle for second at the end of each term. 

I had forgotten all these beautiful memories from a time that I wasn`t sure that I would pass my ordinary levels and didn`t dream of attending university one day. 

It`s a pity that we never had any pictures of us taken together back then but I am happy we have one now. 

Here is to Panashe, one of the best friends I have ever had.